I’ve been feeling for a while now that this is a transformative time for me. It feels like an uneasy place.
On one hand there’s excitement and on the other, fear. Then there’s the entire spectrum between the two.
This month I’ve had the luxury of feeling OK about cashflow AND spend the majority of my time doing the work I want to do. It’s the first time this has happened.
It’s not like I feel like I’ve “made it” or am “over the hump”. It’s not that by any means.
It feels more like I have time to breathe, do interesting work and not feel financial anxiety. I’m not sure how much of that has to do with what’s happening, as opposed to how I’m handling uncertainty.
I did have to catch myself pushing too hard on an old way of doing things. I have to be conscious of letting myself do the work that excites me, without feeling guilty about it.
I remind myself to stay open and let the good happen, alongside the not so good. I’m used to letting the latter happen and not so used to letting the former manifest.
A sense of shaky uncertainty underlies all this. I’m not sure where any of it will end up and for how long.
I’ve learned to be more OK with that. I’ve learned to be more OK existing in the messy middle ground
It’s one more sign that Just Rolling with It works. I feel grateful for this.
Have you experienced transformation? What’s it feel like to you?
Please let me know by responding directly to this email.
Catch you next week,