I mentioned this question a few weeks ago
. It’s been kicking-around my consciousness for a while now.
Most of my life I felt ashamed and/or embarrassed to be seen. I’m tracking some of this back to a childhood heavy on criticism and very light on praise.
Pretty much all the attention I remember receiving was critical. This generated strong feelings of always being wrong.
If I felt wronged, the other person must have had a good reason to make me feel that way . It was always my fault. I felt guilty and ashamed as a result.
Ouch! It hurts remembering this, not to mention writing it down.
Then I had bad acne through high school and some of college. My face was a mess, at least that’s what I told myself. I was embarrassed by the breakouts that seemed to be always there. This added to my fear of being seen.
I experienced these conditions as more than enough to question my worthiness.
But wait, there’s more ;)
My childhood also had the theme of “who do you think you are” running through it. Adults in my family were also afraid of being seen.
This resulted in a constant suppression. The suppression began the moment something I did might catch someone’s impression.
Then it manifested as the “who do you think you are” thing. For example, “who do you think you are to be different than those other…kids, students, interns, etc.”
Just Rolling with It
’s helped me become more comfortable being seen. As a result, I’m able to establish more connections with the world around me.
This feels refreshing and liberating. I feel grateful for this shift.
How about you? Do you deserve to be seen? Why or why not?
Let me know by replying directly to this email.
Catch you next week, with my gratitude,
P.S. - If exploring the shame concept connects with you, don’t miss this week’s podcast. Scroll down to find it.